1. |
Toilet Hangs
01:41
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My head’s down low, but I’m not really sure why.
Maybe I will be all right.
Maybe I will stop being a white-knuckled fuck-up and tell the world of my bullshit thoughts, or maybe I’ll end up biting my tongue again and adding more self-doubt into my stomach and let my anxiety fuck me up even more.
Who knows?
I’ll find out someday.
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2. |
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Genuinely stuck between secured and fucked.
Funny how these “I never”s become “I already have”s.
Before I went to bed, I paced around my room.
The height of paranoia, I slept trippin’ out.
Thought police, are you hearing me?
Guilt-ridden, verging on depressed, every second they’re closer to the eject.
Would they? They would.
Will they? They might.
Twiddle thumbs.
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3. |
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I'm looking up at the sky from the 31st floor.
I wonder if there's a place for me here anymore.
It seems so foolish to end it all now, but there's a voice in my head, and he's dying to get out.
So as I feel the wind go through my hair, my heart starts pounding, and I'll start to feel so scared.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I couldn't do what it takes to pretend to feel better.
So I'm sorry, that the man that I am, and the man that I feel like, are two different things.
So I'm sorry that I had to go.
Just give yourself time, and I hope that you know that everything I did was to try to get better
I see the angel of death, and it's time that I met her.
If next February feels colder, I promise you'll be warm when you're older.
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4. |
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So this is where it ends.
Cut off perception and perspective.
There's no reason to sing.
Is it the reason you left?
Your accomplishments and vices.
Is there anything left?
Fighting the time, I say that I'm fine, but I don't know how to be
Breathing this air, I know that it's there but God, I just can't breathe.
I'm still feeling hurt, and it hurts even more to know that you don't.
I just want to let go.
I know I'm hard to love, and I have given up.
Just want to make it stop.
You left me in the dust, just like I said you would.
I just want to wake up.
I miss the way you used to sigh, the way that it would sync with mine.
Your eyes avert to the side.
I won't lie.
I can't fight, and I just want to die.
I miss the way you used to smile, the way it'd fix things for a while.
Your hand is slipping out of mine.
It always plays in my head.
One day, you loved me, and the next, you looked with only your dread.
Was it because of your friends?
Nights of liquor, wines and bottles.
Was this only pretend?
I thought it's a season, but you looked for reasons to paint me incompetent.
You say I'm not strong, but you strung me along just to leave me with all of this.
I just want to love you and care for you.
I guess that I just don't get it.
You took all my heart, and I'm falling apart.
I'm just left with the severance.
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Good With Anything North Carolina
Eccentric
Eclectic
Emo
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